


Regrets

by Fulcrumisthebomb



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M, Love Triangle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-28
Updated: 2013-02-28
Packaged: 2017-12-03 22:07:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/703153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fulcrumisthebomb/pseuds/Fulcrumisthebomb
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An extended (and more realistic) version of Kaidan's jealousy over Shepard's new love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Regrets

**Author's Note:**

> I found the whole "jealousy" scene toward the beginning of ME3 to be unoriginal and uninspired. This is my take on how that conversation actually went between fem!Shepard and Kaidan.
> 
> ...I also am not a Kaidan fan, so I enjoy torturing him. >_>

"Mr. Alenko! So, are they taking good care of you?"

Kaidan lifted his head, smiling at the recognizable voice. "Dr. Michel! I thought you'd checked out for the Normandy."

"I did, with some persuasion from the commander," Chloe chuckled, plucking the data pad from the table nearby and scanning it briefly. "I see Dr. Chakwas took over your personal care; good."

"She said you requested she do so," he replied, resting back against the flat bed. "Very kind of you, doctor, but I'm stronger than I look. Dr. Chakwas should be tending to those less fortunate."

"She has plenty of opportunity to do so. It takes five minutes to check your stats and condition." Chloe patted him fondly on the shoulder as she sat nearby. "I'm pleased to see you continuing to recover rapidly."

"All thanks to you, doc. So." Kaidan managed to sit up, scattering several blankets. "You didn't answer my question. Haven't you been on the Normandy?"

Chloe laughed softly. "Of course, but the commander doesn't keep us chained to the ship when we're in the Citadel. It's... It's rough out there." Her expression shifted subtly, though her smile remained fixed on her face. "I'm not sure why the commander thought I was a better choice for her crew. I suspect she wanted Dr. Chakwas here with you, though," she added warmly. "But it's difficult. So much to tend to when she comes back to the ship. She and Garrus regularly take quite the beating."

"Garrus!" Kaidan slapped a hand to the bed. "That old stuffed shirt, he still kicking around? How's he?"

He was amused to see a flush of pink on her cheeks. "Oh, oh he's doing well. He hasn't gotten himself blown up in the last year, so that's improvement."

"Hah, I heard about that." Kaidan shook his head as he gestured at himself. "I'm just trying to keep up with him, y'know. Can't let him one-up me." He tilted his head at her giggle. "Must be nice for you to see him again though, hm? You've always been a bit sweet on him."

"I don't- Well-," Chloe sighed softly, folding her hands in her lap. "Maybe. You know how it is. Someone saves your life, you feel somewhat attached afterwards."

Kaidan laughed, leaning over carefully to rub her shoulder reassuringly. "Shepard and I were both there- I don't seem to recall you crushing on either of us."

"I'm _not,_ " Chloe said defensively, though a smile was still tugging at her mouth. "Maybe if- Well. I remain very grateful for his _and_ your intervention, of course, but there's no possibility there."

"Not even now?" Kaidan tilted his head curiously. "Human-Turian couples are rare, I admit, but not impossible. I've seen a few in my time. And I might pick at him, but he has great heart. No time like the end of the galaxy to think about such things."

Chloe's eyes widened in surprise. "No, he is- Oh." She stood hurriedly, seemingly agitated. "I'm sorry, Mr. Alenko, I thought you knew."

"Knew what?" Kaidan arched a brow, grabbing her hand to keep her close.

Chloe didn't reply immediately; she shifted, obviously uncomfortable as she delicately pulled her hand from his grip. "Well, I thought it was just a rumour. You know how gossip travels-,"

"Get to the point," Kaidan grinned. "Don't tell me he shoots for the other team?"

"No!" Chloe stared at her feet to avoid his dancing eyes. "He's with someone, that's all. As I said, I thought it was gossip until I boarded the Normandy and... Well. It's no secret there."

Kaidan snapped his fingers. "Let me guess. Tali? Has she been around lately? She's always been soft on him too-,"

Chloe took a deep breath, moving toward the door. "I'm not sure I'm the person to tell you this, Mr. Alenko. But- But the commander should be along shortly. Keep resting, sir, and get well. We need you."

Kaidan watched in bafflement as Chloe gave him a weak smile and fled past the sliding door. He laid back, repeating their conversation in his mind.

\---------------------

Shepard gave him a warm smile and hug the moment she saw he was awake. Kaidan returned them, her apparent happiness rubbing his worry away for the moment. After she settled in the seat Dr. Michel had vacated not a half hour before, though, he cleared his throat and leveled a stare at her.

"I know that look," Shepard said dryly. "Out with it, Kaidan."

"Dr. Michel was by earlier," he said cautiously, ignoring her immediate smile at the news. "Our conversation eventually turned to Garrus, and I got the impression you have something to tell me. About him." He took a steadying breath, his brow furrowed angrily. "About you two?"

Shepard's smile wavered, her eyes flickering past him to trail after the air traffic outside the window. "Maybe we should talk about this some other t-,"

Kaidan's heartbeat increased. He knew Shepard's body language better than most people; she was worried. "No. Now."

She nodded curtly, looking back to his face and meeting his glare. "Garrus and I have grown close after I woke up in a Cerberus lab."

" _How_ close?"

"Very close." She ran a hand over her eyes, digging into the sockets with her knuckles. "Kaidan, I'm sorry."

He swallowed hard, his hand darting out to grip her shoulder. "Don't- You _cheated_ on me?"

Her eyes had been murky with sadness, but at those words they crackled, blazing with clarity. "No, I did not. You made it abundantly clear that we were over on Horizon, Kaidan. Or did you forget that little scenario before you _ran away?_ "

"You'd been gone for two years!" he argued hotly, throwing his hands into the air. "They told us you were dead, and then after two years I heard whispers that you were alive! _And_ with Cerberus-,"

"Leave Cerberus out of this," Shepard snapped.

"You're _defending_ them, even now?!" he asked, incredulous. "After we've seen that-,"

"No, what I'm _saying_ is this is between you and I," she hissed, smacking his hand away when he reached for her again. "You _left_ me on Horizon, Kaidan, when I needed you the most. I told you I needed you, and you walked away. No, you _ran._ You never returned my messages. You didn't speak to me again until a month ago!"

Kaidan finally glanced away, his voice bitter. "I had just managed let go of you, Shepard. I mourned you for two years. I had only just let myself be convinced you were truly gone and I had to move on when I saw you on Horizon. You can't appreciate how confused and hurt I was."

Shepard sat back in her chair, crossing her arms over her chest. "You left me in that state, so maybe we should consider us even."

"You _cheated_ on me!" Kaidan pointed angrily at her. "Or did you lie to me on Ilos? Was it just the threat of the suicide mission? "

"I meant what I said. But after Horizon, I knew we were over," Shepard replied flatly. "You said it yourself. Neither of us were the same people anymore, so I moved on, Kaidan. Garrus has kept his faith in me, through Saren, through Cerberus, through the Collector Base, through all the difficult choices and bad situations. _You_ have doubted me, time and time again. Speaking of," she added, her eyes flashing, "I don't appreciate the insinuations back on Mars. I'm not perfect, Kaidan, but my heart is always in the right place. If I have to use an evil corporation's assets to save people, I'll do it. If I have to let someone die to save another, I'll do it. You're here because I've made those hard choices, Kaidan."

"I _didn't_ ask for that!"

"But I still had to make a choice!" Shepard fumed. "I didn't ask you to _like_ it. And I don't expect you to like this, either, but the fact remains I'm in love with Garrus."

They stared at each other, both surprised by her words. After an awkward pause, Shepard shoved herself to her feet, and Kaidan pawed at her arm.

"Kaidan, I _am_ sorry," she sighed. "When I said forever with you, I meant it. And I was so relieved and happy to find you on Horizon, but... You were right. We're different people now."

Kaidan huffed, nearly slamming his head into the bed as he laid back. "We don't have to be."

"No." She shook her head, brushing down her jacket before looking over her shoulder. "But we _are._ I'll see you around, Kaidan. Get well. I miss you."

Only after the doors hissed shut was he able to whisper, "Miss you too."


End file.
